Issue date: 7/29/08 Section: Opinion

Media Credit: Tiffany Tran [Click to enlarge]

Carole Ramirez, class of 2007, is someone with little confidence when talking to guys. Get her around anyone from the opposite sex, especially someone she finds attractive, and she becomes mute and says the strangest things.

"I don't know what comes over me," Ramirez says. "I love talking with my friends, but all I manage to say to guys are things like 'word' or 'that's how I roll', which are definitely not the best things to say to someone you think is cute."

Ramirez says she once made cookies for her brother's friends and gave them to her brother to deliver rather than delivering the cookies herself.

One of the guys waned to thank her, but she would not go unless someone went with her for back-up; someone to prod her into the room so she wouldn't turn back and run. Once the guy thanked her, instead of saying "I made them just for you," or something sweet or flirtatious like that, all Ramirez said was "word" and quickly left as her friend tried to politely say thank you and cover up for her.

always say something, even just a thank you, when a guy gives you a compliment. By running off or avoiding conversation, the guy may think you Aren't interested in him. what if you run into him again? it will be an even more awkward situation.

In Ramirez' case, she lacks the self-confidence to initiate a conversation with a romantic prospect. For Kellie Flores, a sophomore communications major, the problem isn't her self esteem, or social skills - it's the group she chooses when going out.

"All my girlfriends are beautiful, and so much fun to go out with," Flores says. "But when I'm out with them, I'm so busy talking them up to everyone we meet, that I end up sending any potential date running in their direction. I talk about how great they look, how they're the best dancers or singers, whatever. I don't even realize I'm acting like a professional wing-girl all night until I'm the one going home with no phone numbers!"

don't bring your supermodel friends with you when trying to meet guys, unless you can avoid feeling insecure, or forfeiting all attention to them. No matter how fun they may be, they can also be a distraction that can make you seem uninterested or unavailable, or simply make you feel less worthy or attractive.

Continued...

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