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College Life: Emmys + the elliptical

Emmys recap by a Texas A&M student

Published: Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Updated: Wednesday, July 25, 2012 23:07

I watched the 63rd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards live from…the elliptical at the REC. Yep, no back stage pass, red carpet, or black tie glamour. Instead I plugged in my headphones and tried my best to absorb "television gold" while some sweaty college kid breathed loudly and rather awkwardly while on the machine next to me. #LivingTheLife

Just when you thought Sue Sylvester peaked in high school along with the rest of the cast of "Glee," Jane Lynch hosted this year's Emmy's by taking the audience on a rollercoaster of hilarious highs and awkward lows. While she was no Neil Patrick Harris hosting the Antoinette Perry "Tony" Awards, thanks to her wit — and the script writers — last night's Emmys was one of the best award shows I watched in awhile.

Lynch started the show with a video of her talking to the "President of Television" who asked her to host the awards. The conversation quickly — and oh so effortlessly —turned into a musical (cue her Glee background). Lynch continued to keep my attention and allowed me to momentarily forget my heavy breathing running buddy as she transformed herself into the infamous mob boss who put the state of New Jersey all over television. The entire cast of Jersey Shore entered: a large group infused by dark wigs, orange tans and attitudes who made the skit all too real.

Then, that awkward silence we all dread when making public speeches came out as Charlie Sheen announced the nominees from his category — outstanding lead actor of a comedy series.  Sheen attempted to make nice with his old show Two and Half Men — especially after his "winning" ways earlier in the year — by speaking directly to his former cast mates.

"From the bottom of my heart I wish you nothing but the best from this upcoming season," Sheen said. The audience awkwardly applauded, but can you blame them? What else are you supposed to do when you watch him and have flashbacks of the man waving a machete around in the air ranting about his "tiger blood" in one of his controversial interviews?

The best part of the night came along with the winners.

The night's surprise was revealed when a tearful Melissa McCarthy was literally crowned outstanding lead actress in a comedy series. I had to catch myself from falling off the machine as she — in perfect acceptance speech form — went on to say, "I'm from Plainfield, Illinois, and I'm standing here and it's kind of amazing."

Catching everyone off guard, Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show" won for the ninth year in a row, although he dedicated most his speech time to promote fellow nominee Stephen Colbert's work this year.

Nearly knocking me off the elliptical, "Mad Men" won best drama series for the fourth year in a row. #AnotherShocker

I cheered victoriously and garnered plenty of awkward stares from around the gym as the biggest award of the night, the Emmy for outstanding comedy series went to...drum roll please…my personal favorite show (possibly of all time) "Modern Family." The "Modern Family" cast and crew had a lot to celebrate taking home five awards, including best supporting actor and actress from  Ty Burrell and Julie Bowen.

After the wonderful evening of glitz, glamour and television gold, I wiped the sweat off my forehead with my required towel, unplugged my ear phones and began to mentally prepare my acceptance speech for next year's Emmys. If Melissa McCarthy can win an Emmy, surely a business major at Texas A&M stands a chance. Now my acceptance speech is finalized, I just have to figure out which category to aim for. 

Melanie Starling is a senior marketing major and a blogger/videographer for The Battalion.

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