If anything, "Constantine" shows the power of crafting an enjoyable popcorn flick using paint-by-number filmmaking. Take one world-wary hero, add a fish-out-of-water love interest, mix in a bit of over-the-top villainy and you've got a larger-than-life extravaganza of special effects and supernatural shenanigans. I apologize for the use of such tired clichés in describing the gist of "Constantine," but that is exactly what this Keanu Reeves' vehicle is, a full-throttle, high-octane cliché.
Loosely based on the long-running DC/Vertigo comic book "Hellblazer," "Constantine" stars Reeves as John Constantine, a magic-wielding exorcist in search of redemption. With a cigarette consistently perched in his mouth, Constantine battles the forces of darkness in an attempt to gain favor with the Big Man in the Sky. Despite his near-constant duty as a supernatural border patrol agent, his actions are not enough to earn him a spot in the heavenly kingdom. Unfortunately, his time is running out . Diagnosed with cancer, Constantine is set for a one-way ticket to hell when he dies, due to a blotched suicide attempt earlier in his life. Coincidently, events are transpiring elsewhere that shed light on a massive conspiracy involving a powerful demon's ascension onto Earth. Angela Dodson (Rachel Weiz in a charming performance) finds herself connected to the satanic undertakings occurring underfoot when her twin sister commits suicide. Fate - or a poorly written plot device, depending on how gullible you are feeling - brings Angela and Constantine together to fight side by side against the forces that threaten to break the balance of good and evil and bring hell to Earth.
If you are confused after reading that plot description, don't worry. So was I, and I've seen the film. "Constantine" is a muddled mass of a movie that manages to at least look wonderful. Director Francis Lawrence cut his teeth in the world of music videos, and it shows. The film is brought to life with a vivid enthusiasm aided by the latest in computer effects. The colors of Los Angeles pop out, bringing a sharp contrast to the muted darkness of Constantine's world. The decadence and decay of Hell is showcased in a scene in which Constantine must transverse Damnation in search of Angela's sister. Apparently, Hell looks a lot like L.A.'s 101 freeway. Meanwhile, Heaven resembles the sprawling towers of Los Angeles' skyscraper district. The director obviously put a lot of thought into planning out the visual aspects of the film and it shows in each frame.
Unfortunately for Lawrence, looks aren't everything, and in story, "Constantine" finds itself lacking. Full of gi-normous plot holes and unexplained foolishness, the film is a mess of borrowed ideas and grandiose, gratuitous action.
Even though Reeves never dons long underwear and a cape, "Constantine" is a superhero movie through and through. Although his deadpan performance stretches his acting prowess beyond that of a perpetual confused grimace, Reeves' bad-boy persona is not enough to elevate "Constantine" above the cornucopia of clichéd plot happenings. When battling a hoard of demons, Constantine pulls out a "holy shotgun" and transforms the film from a somewhat intriguing puzzle into a gratuitous gunfight. If the idea of a shotgun attached to a crucifix seems hokey to you, get ready for a scene in which Constantine slips on a pair of brass knuckles adorned with the sign of the cross.
Besides weapons that would make Bibleman blush, the film's shining moment lies with the introduction of character actor Peter Stromare as Satan. Stromare is perhaps the only actor in Hollywood that can compete with Christopher Walken as the most likely to eat babies. Donned in a pristine white suit, feet dripping with tar, Stromare's Satan oozes with unapologetic creepiness. Utilizing the whole of his face as a performance tool, Stromare has forevermore personified evil in my opinion.
"Constantine" is an enjoyable gem of a action blockbuster. Unfortunately, instead of rising to the top and meeting its potential, "Constantine" feels the need to wade in mediocrity. Watch the film for the pretty pictures, but check any expectations at the door.
