University and Brazos County officials said that all students need to be aware of how to help a friend in an unhealthy relationship because it is difficult for people in abusive relationships to get help or end them.
Dean Bresciani, the vice president for student affairs, said that knowing the warning signs of a friend in trouble and how to help them is important for everyone.
"The Aggie family is renown for not just individuals looking after themselves, but as well, those around them," he said.
Ashley McCollum, the public outreach chairwoman of the Brazos County Coalition Against Domestic Violence, said that talking with a friend you suspect or confirm is in an unhealthy relationship can make a big difference, but it can be difficult.
"It's hard to know what to say and what not to say," McCollum said. "The most important thing you can do is listen to what he or she has to say."
She said people should let a friend know that they are concerned about his or her safety and why, and also offer to go with the friend to get help, whether it is a counselor, parent or police officer.
"Don't be judgmental. Don't demand or try to force your friend to make a decision about the relationship right away," McCollum said. "Your friend has to decide when he or she is ready to get help or end the relationship. You cannot do it for him or her."
Bresciani said that people in unhealthy relationships often stay in them for one of two reasons. They either believe it is their fault, or they believe it is the best they can do.
"Neither of those ever makes sense from the outside looking in, but tend to be fairly common emotions for individuals trapped in such relationship," Bresciani said. "We also live in a society that encourages and often romantically portrays the notion of 'one true love'. It's easy to be trapped by the belief that it will be deceitful or worse to give up on a relationship that isn't going well."
Several places on and off campus offer help to victims of domestic violence or partners in unhealthy relationships.
The Women's Resource Center, Student Counseling Services, Student Health Services, Student Conflict Resolution Services and University Police are on-campus agencies that offer assistance to students in abusive relationships.
Bresciani said that the most important thing is to initiate a conversation with somebody in these agencies.
"Virtually any professional staff in a Student Affairs department, and many faculty, are good starting points to discuss problems if a student isn't willing to talk to a stranger," Bresciani said.
Mary Ann Covey, a psychologist at Student Counseling Services, SCS, said that many students go to SCS to work on improving their current relationship or ending a problem relationship.
"If they are in a healthy relationship and want to improve it, we discuss what they see as areas of improvement such as communication, values or intimacy issues," Covey said. "If they are in a relationship that they are trying to end we help them explore what about the relationship makes them want to end it and ways to be sure that they do want it to end."
SCS offers individual counseling, couples counseling and group counseling centered on relationship issues.
The Women's Resource Center provides education programs for Texas A&M and the community on women's issues, such as domestic violence.
Merna Jacobsen, the interim director of the Women's Resource Center, said that "the goals of the center are to create a community in which men and women can work together in a mutually respectful, safe and supportive environment where equality, responsibility and personal empowerment are fostered."
The center offers several programs and services, including leadership development and programs related to specific issues. Among these are the Silent Witness memorial and Clothesline project during national Domestic Violence Awareness month in October and These Hands Don't Hurt during national Sexual Assault Awareness month in April.
"The Silent Witness memorial is really powerful and sends a message that we could not communicate any other way," Jacobsen said. "With these kind of social issues, secrecy gives [abusers] power. Therefore these programs talk about the issues and work to destroy that power."
There are also several programs in the community in addition to law enforcement that offer assistance to people in abusive relationships, including the Brazos Valley Rape Crisis Center, The Brazos County Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Twin City Mission Domestic Violence Services - Phoebe's Home.
The Rape Crisis Center provides, free of charge, a 24-hour hotline, 24-hour accompaniment to local hospitals and individual and group counseling to survivors of sexual abuse. It also offers educational programs for all age groups and organizations.
Laury Kasowski, executive director of the Rape Crisis Center, said that in providing these services, the center aims to assure that the immediate and long-term physical and emotional needs of survivors are met and that survivors are treated with dignity and respect while given accurate legal and medical information.
The Brazos Valley Coalition Against Domestic Violence, BCCADV, provides prevention education and victim advocacy throughout the community in order to address issues of dating violence, domestic violence and the impact of domestic violence on children.
"The coalition is made up of representatives from local law enforcement and the criminal justice system, victim advocates from Rape Crisis Center - Brazos Valley, Scotty's House Child Advocacy Center, Twin City Mission Domestic Violence Services, survivors of dating and domestic violence and community members," McCollum said.
Recently, BCCADV introduced the Brazos County Voices Against Violence campaign.
McCollum said, "We've had more than 350 people, groups and agencies sign on to be a Voice Against Violence so far, many of them students."
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