Fitting onto the flight

Kevin Smith is way fat; his words, not mine. But the actor/director's famous role as Silent Bob could use neither words nor fame to "justify" his obesity to Southwest Airlines. On Feb. 13 he was kicked off a flight because of a seating policy requiring overweight flyers to purchase two seats. Cruel? When was the last time you saw Professor Klump waiting to board your flight and you thought to yourself, "I hope I sit next to THAT guy?"

Southwest's Customer of Size policy (euphemism, anyone?) states: "Customers who are unable to lower both armrests and/or who compromise any portion of adjacent seating should proactively book the number of seats needed prior to travel."

Kevin had purchased two tickets for a flight - check. He decided to fly standby on an earlier flight, and when he sat down in the single remaining seat aboard, he was able to wedge the armrests around his "roles" - check.

Then came Suzanne the flight attendant, who informed Smith that the captain had deemed him a "safety risk." Apparently, Kevin technically had the armrests down, but was compromising a portion of the adjacent seating - no check. From there he proceeded to lambast the airline from his Twitter account, 15 Tweets in the first hour, giving them a thorough cussing and challenging the logic of the Customer of Size policy.

Between checking baggage, overpriced airport food and the monotony of the layover, flying can be inherently stressful. It sometimes seems airlines do little to ease the angst passengers, specifically in the arena of coach seating. Southwest Airlines is about average when it comes to comfort of seating; their all-leather seating provides 32 to 33 inches between seatbacks and 17 inches of width. That adds up to less than 4 square feet, the definition of comfort.

With numbers like that, it may seem a stretch to say Southwest - or any other airline, for that matter - is truly concerned about passenger comfort. However, Southwest apparently takes my desire to claim lordship over those very costly 3.896 square feet quite seriously. Maybe they realize people are cramped to begin with, and for the sake of the customers they want to make the flight as comfortable an uncomfortable experience as possible.

But what defines uncomfortable? Sitting next to sick or smelly people is certainly uncomfortable. In October, I had the privilege of sitting next to a man who, although nice enough, apparently didn't believe in deodorant. He smelled like two-a-days. After reading the report about Kevin Smith I asked myself, "Should Mr. BO have been kicked off?" Then Jazz Air answered the question for me. Earlier this month, the Canadian airline deplaned an American man whose body odor was described by a passenger as "brutal."

Neither Mr. BO nor Kevin Smith owes me anything except a shower and some legroom if I'm sitting next to them on a flight. It's called common courtesy - something over which Smith was apparently irate for Southwest not having, in his opinion, shown him.

I had a nice conversation with Mr. BO, and I'm glad he wasn't bumped to another flight, but I was disappointed with his personal hygiene habits. Airlines know most passengers would prefer quiet affliction to an awkward and seemingly rude confrontation with a complete stranger; the airlines are right in taking the responsibility for that conversation on behalf of their customers

As politically incorrect as it may be for Southwest and many other airlines - including Delta, American, Midwest and JetBlue, to name a few - to deplane excessively overweight passengers, I am glad they do. It tells me the airline is willing to stick their neck out, risking a public censuring and diatribe by a foul-mouthed Hollywood B-lister so I can at least pretend to be comfortable.

All that said, Southwest has acknowledged the inherent sensitivity of the issue. The policy is about the best an airline can have, as it places passenger comfort above avoiding confrontation. They go to bat for you, and at the end of the day usually wind up with, except in highly publicized cases such as this, a win-win situation. Ninety-eight percent of their Customers of Size receive a complete refund for the extra seat. Forget about the fact that a passenger 100 pounds overweight is flying the equivalent of two extra checked bags, they usually get a refund to boot. Southwest, I'll be flying with you next time, and I expect all 3.896 square feet. ? ?

Adam Bechtold is a senior history major and is special to The Battalion.